last night i went to my friends hotel party aka "fetish party". it was fun there was a decent amount of faces there. all the girls were gonna dress up and make it fun, but one of my friends NIKKY...who is amazing made a very valid point. there was no one at the party to dress up for. just a bunch of really horny guys! lol. well i'm gay and have a bf so it didn't matter to me either way. besides that there were decent conversations going around. i didn't really talk however because i was focused on not relapsing and picking up a drink :D which i did not! still sober since my release at detox 2 weeks ago! YAYYY!!!! oh i forgot i also saw "Where The Wild Things Are". When it comes down to it, it is nothing like the book. the writer took an outline of the book and ran with it. he made up a completely different story, but thats fine in my book because it was organic, it kept my attention, and it was a tear jerker ^_^ based off the movie plot/story i would give "Where The Wild Things Are"...a 5 out of 5. If your really hoping for a book to screen adaptation then i would have to give it a 3 out of 5. Mind you, the book is probably 20 pages long and this writer made it into an hour and a half movie. well today is Sunday "Bless The Lord and All My Soul". I am going to an art gallery where apparently there is a very talented woman who makes custom scarfs! very excited to see what she has and what she can do!:D well i'll let the journal and you know later!

Good-Day Ladies and Gentleman

today i was awoken by my phone ringing and seeing that my job was calling. i decided to put it on quiet and sleep for a couple of more hours. then being responsible i called them back and they called me into work to cover not 1 but two people's shifts since they randomly called out. work was hectic but i got through it and then i came home and watched paul mooney, oh yea i ate a roman...i think thats how you spell it. its a grilled chicken sandwich between a roll with parmasean cheese! mmmmm. very delish :D
now im watching new anime's trying to get into something else besides bleach. i am up to date on a new show called "Letter Bee" and a manga that i started reading but never finished "Fairy Tail" is out with its first episode! YAYYYY i'm gonna watch it. i love starting new series gives me something awesome to look forward too when i get home ^_^ besides making my music graphic design and poetry. i looked up how much a cable was for my midi keyboard and they range in the 10 dollar area! wish i knew that LOL i would have already bought one! i thought they were hella expensive but i suppose not, so i expect to be playing my digital music live by early sometime next year. i have to get much better on the piano....much much better. oh and i think i'm gonna spend my hard earned money on an MPC midi keyboard because there is a drum machine integrated into it! so exciting. well anyways! off to my anime and then sleep! i have gotten maybe 10 hours in the past 3 days! coffee is really intense!

goodnight and God Bless <3

today i made two very good modern vintage designs in photoshop
then connor and emily came over and we made some beats in reason, having only mastered two songs in reason we are still making very good progress. i believe this week im gonna go pick up the cable for the keyboard so we can start realizing playing our sounds live. that would be amazing, but i really really would love to get some vocals on some of the tracks, also i would like to have more guitar and bass noise in the mix. i've been trying to make a hip hop electro beat, but for some reason its not clicking, i think it'll be easier when i get the cable for the keyboard because i'll have more control over the modules in reason. anyways today was good im happy and tomorrow will probobly be better! :D

In God i trust

goodnight

woke up today hoping for a ride to walk but alas i must walk. thats ok though, all the more time to reflect. i can kind of see and i really do realize why i began drinking. i just wanted to feel numb. i wanted to feel lost from the crazy world that was in front of me. life through me one challenge after another and i said ok but im gonna be buzzed in the process. :SIGH: im just trying to figure out the reason for and why i went down that path of destruction, but you know what maybe i don't have to worry about that, maybe i shouldn't reflect upon that, i know that i should only move toward the future but they told me in detox its good to keep a journal and let everything out. but just like in the bible God told the woman to never look back and she turned to salt. I'm gonna start to never look back because you might as well let go, you can't take back what you've done. also whats bothering me is that i met this kid, he came down, i thought we had a blast, he said he had fun but i haven't heard from him since last night. I know its me being paranoid as usual or over analyzing everything, or maybe something just happened and he can't talk to me at the moment. :SIGH: i shouldn't even be worried about another person i should be focused upon myself for the time being. My coffee should be done. The Sky Is cloudy but im full of sunshine :D!

today was cool. i went to borders and got alot of studying done and then i proceeded to go home and play InFamous which is an awesome game. picture grand theft auto with super powers. then i was feeling a little moody...you know going through those stages of not drinking and the chemicals leaving your body and mind kinda gives you mood swings i suppose...but my friend came through and cheered me up tremendously! so now i'm gonna watch Will & Grace and pass out because i got work at 2...so wait i don't have to go to bed too soon but i should get some rest in. but it does feel really good to be sober and to be able to think. ugh i miss the days when i was in tune with nature but i know they will come back soon. now its just a matter of getting all those evil thoughts out of my head. get out get out get out. only optimistic and positive :D!!!!!

maybe in the morning i'll go to the park and write something pretty. yea that should put me in a good mood!
well goodnight!

got back from detox from alcohol and i feel awesome and i know in the future i will feel much better. oh man what an experience i now know that alcoholism is a disease and its just not a phase for some people. but i plan to write regular and keep up with all my hobbies so i always stay busy and don't focus on negative thoughts. its time for a change. also since my body is getting healthy again to its natural rythm i'll be able to be in tune with the earth.

GOD BLESS

so fall has finally come. i can feel the cool breeze coming through my window as i sit and listen to a song i have been trying to find all year. its relaxing. it kinda feels like the calm before the storm. once again i don't know where i'm staying. i wonder if i put myself into these situations. we are all responsible for our own vibrations and everything that comes in or around us. i suppose my future self wants me to become stronger as a person. lord only knows what i have to deal with in the future. but whatever tomorrow brings i'll be there with open arms and open eyes. yeah.

my wishlist

http://www.m-audio.com/products/en_us/Axiom25.html

http://www.akaipro.com/mpd24